This isn’t the most pleasant of photos. This isn’t a perfect image of me posing well or looking my best. This is me after crying for ten minutes. This is a real, raw, version of me that for some reason I felt safe to share on this blog that maybe three people read.
I can’t tell you I have much of a reason to cry. I had a pretty privileged childhood, my parents are good to me, i have a place to sleep and consistent food to eat. I don’t know what it’s like to grow up abused. I’ve never been molested and I have experienced death up close. I haven’t been through a really bad breakup and to be all honest with you i’m just an average white straight U.S citizen girl. I don’t know what it feels like to go through such pain that those things bring and i won’t understand unless i do.
What I can tell you, is that i feel it. I feel the pain when your eyes water when i’m hearing your story. I feel the pain when you can’t cry anymore than you have already. I FEEL it when your silence fills the room.
Sometimes these things overtake our lives and I look at all these people who are feeling such seemingly unbearable pain and I just think-there’s too much of this. There’s so much internal and external rivalry and I just want it to end already. I want to live together in unity and try to reach an endpoint of understanding and love and we’re just disrespecting and mistreating each other left and right. Where will this end? How can I be a part in loving others in lasting ways?
I don’t know what it feels like to be a part of these things this world lacks in but i know what it’s like to be lonely. I know what it’s like to feel misunderstood and too scared of myself to get out of bed . I know what its like to feel love and feel happiness and we all remember a moment or two that we felt truly, alive. We can connect on these things, we can love because we know how it personally feels to lack of it.
That pain is our answer to how. The humanity that’s left in us, the places we feel, that’s our unity.