recently, i had the opportunity to join some friends in a yoga class at hours before the sun rose, and one thing the instructor said stood out to me. “nothing left to do, nothing more to be.” it got me wondering how easily it is to get caught up in our tasks, our lives, even our own goals. always onto the next thing we have to get done, or in my case the next thing i want to become and fix. even in that place where i have time, the right atmosphere, and someone outside of myself telling me where to focus my attention i seem to draw back into my railroad mind. for a moment i was following her directions on where to move my body as merely a list of instructions, that i began to tune out the sound of her voice and instead indulge in my own thoughts and tasks once again. i established a cloud of judgment upon myself so large i was missing the point. she said that line and i clutched the present again. each inhale and exhale were just that. each exuberant movement i made after those words were intentional and there was truly nothing left to do. there was nothing left to be. my mind was cleansed from fixes and fulfillment. in moments when i find rest between the constant search for becoming something else, i am the most whole. i stand high and tall even when i appear to be walking alone into nothing, but i am not. nothing is good sometimes. nothing has the proficiency to become purification.
it walks on every street
and seems to weave
into the lips of everything
speaking in tongues of “do they like me”
finding purpose in the purpose of others
when others are doing the exact same commodity
we are together in the loneliness of the interstice we feel
we try to resolve it by becoming caustic
telling ourselves to be ourselves but forging for anyone’s customization
enticed by the facade and swaddled with judgment
we vaporize our very own fortification
how do we fight a society that tells us to embrace the core of who you are but then demolishes the very part of us that allows us to do so? how do we love without judgment and with justice instead? how do we give up the empty search for ourselves in others and just be OURSELVES? we all seem to want that. we don’t want acceptance for someone we are pretending to be, we want acceptance for who we ARE, we just don’t think others will accept the differences. put a limit to this affirmation, not to go against society but to be free of that casket we put ourselves in doing this. imagine all the wonderful things people have to share, the minds that could invent things, the ideas that are silenced. dance on that washing machine, tell that stranger they have a dandy smile, embarrass yourself! there shouldn’t be anything to be embarrassed about.